This is about everything...

It's been a little while since I blogged. Since my last blog was centred around the tragic ups and downs of my love life, or lack of, my motivation to write tended to be a little erratic. Whilst it can be somewhat cathartic to write about the non-starter with the hot guy who invited you halfway across the country for a threesome with his petite and free-spirited girlfriend, writing about the guy who charmed you at dinner, sat with you in a coffee shop for hours, walked around the Southbank book market with you and then dumped you over text because you 'didn't have enough in common' can be a little deflating. It's hard enough having to relive the story to everyone who asks if you're 'still dating that guy' (because living vicariously through your single friend/colleague is the best way to get your kicks once you’re married), but having to put the whole story into words to stare back at you through the detached and unsympathetic screen of your computer doesn't exactly give you the warm fuzzies inside. So I'm starting a new blog, as an outlet for my creative juices and my love of writing, as well as a way of documenting my final year of my 20s. There are 15 months remaining until I hit the big 3 0 and I've come up with a 'bucket list' of sorts, not that I'm planning on actually kicking the bucket at 30, but it's a little catchier than my 'things I'd like to do before I'm 30 list'. I plan to document my bucket list adventures, but I'd be denying myself an opportunity to let the endless chatter in my mind spill out on to paper (of the virtual kind) if I restricted myself to a theme or topic, and so this blog is about everything.

Firstly, as I head towards my 29th birthday, it feels good to say I know myself pretty well. In the last year it feels a little like a lightbulb has come on my mind, I'm more comfortable with myself than I ever have been. Of course I miss the size 8 figure, the forgiving metabolism and the recklessness of my 18 year old self, but I don't miss the uncertainty and the unseen but ever-present pressure to fit in and be accepted. At 28, I’m comfortable with my style, my sexuality, my music taste, my interests and hobbies, my friends and (almost) my body. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t spend every day feeling full of life and never regretting that fourth chocolate digestive before 10am on a Monday morning; the difference is that I value myself on my own opinions of me, and not the opinions of others. Seeking acceptance from others seems to masquerade itself as self-acceptance all too often through the endless Instagram posts, YouTube videos and Twitter feeds of the under 30s. I’m no stranger to a selfie, but posting endless Valencia filtered photos of yourself in full make-up doesn’t necessarily mean you’re comfortable with what you see in the mirror after you take your makeup off at night. If you need a certain number of ‘likes’ to validate your belief that you’re attractive, that doesn’t constitute self-acceptance. So I consider myself pretty fortunate to be 28 and comfortable with who I am. So in the spirit of self-acceptance, I look forward to sharing my journey, my thoughts and my ramblings with whoever happens to stumble across them.